This is where I’m keeping track of changes made to all Books — just for those who are curious about the details!
With Dreigiau finally complete, I’m doing the revision thing yet again. Eight years is a long stretch of time from the very first writing to the very last… so you can believe I’m cringing when I go back to read the early chapters.
I also have interest in getting Dreigiau into a book format — be it professionally published or self published, I haven’t made up my mind. Before I can even attempt something like that, the writing as a whole needs a serious polish. I’m not sure if this will mean adding new chapters or rearranging old… but certainly cutting some of the “drama-llama” stuff and tweaking the stiff dialogue in the earliest chapters.
So here we go!
Book 1
- Introduction: Cut drama-llama stuff and smoothed some stiff dialogue. Just a basic cleanup.
- Chapter 1-1: Cut drama-llama stuff and smoothed some stiff dialogue. Just a basic cleanup.
- Chapter 1-2: Gave SoYa and TsuYa a bit of a character face lift since this chapter is their first impression on the readers. I tried to make SoYa a bit more likeable in the only teacher roll we ever see him perform in any of my stories. I also toned down TsuYa’s snoot some. He was a bit too uncaring from the outset… so this meant cutting some dialogue and editing other bits. All in all, I hope this is a better introduction for the brothers. Note to self: May need another look at this chapter later.
- Chapter 1-3: This chapter was pretty clean, to my surprise. I remember working to edit a lot of it the first time around. Seems like I did a good job. SaRa was on the spot. And SoYa just needed a few very minor drama-llama things smoothed out. Left this one pretty much as-is.
- Chapter 1-4: Another chapter that felt pretty clean to me. Again, I know I did a lot of editing to this before and it appears that I caught quite a bit of whatever needed to be done already. SaRa remains spot on. AsaHi needed a few things here or there tweaked. The overall description of the situation came out quite well. Just very minor changes.
- Chapter 1-5: Another chapter with very little to change. I was pleased to see how much my previous revisions fleshed out the conversation between SoYa and TsuYa here. I felt like they were both pretty spot on for their characters at this point… and the information that was given about the Council and the situation in Nefol was also what I’d have liked to see there. Very minor changes.
- Chapter 1-6: This chapter was another that was well fleshed out with the previous revision. I was pretty content with how the whole mind-capture of TsuYa played out. Just a few very minor changes — tiny drama-llama edit (TsuYa shouldn’t cry! *huff*).
- Chapter 1-7: SoYa is such a drama-llama. Edited. This is not my best writing for this chapter, by far. But it does the job. Wonder if I can do something to expand on it more… or if I should just let it go.
- Chapter 2-1: Soooooooo bad! I didn’t like this chapter before… and I know I edited out a lot of the senseless violence. But it was still bad. So I edited out even more. Way too much drama-llama here. I may need to go back to this one and work on it again. Sheesh. (Note: I hated it so much, I edited it again the next day.)
- Chapter 2-2 ~ Chapter 2-7: Most of the revisions here are for consistency, especially working to make Kaze’s speech patterns a bit more gradual in development for the sake of semi-realism. Just minor little things, nothing to pin point specifically.
- Chapter 3-1: Short chapter. Small changes here and there. Nothing too major.
- Chapter 3-2: Cut some SoYa drama and tried to get the chapter to focus more on the incident and less on all the emotions. We’ll deal with emotions in later chapters enough!
- Chapter 3-3: It’s an emotional chapter, but I culled some of the over-drama I found. I also tried to smooth out the conversation and make SaRa’s voice a little less formal.
- Chapter 3-4: Minor changes to this chapter to make dialogue and exposition a little more smooth. Nothing major.
- Chapter 3-5: More minor changes and a bit of drama smoothed out. Fixed some funny dialogue. I’m still not happy with the whole Kaze-Zemi name thing, but I can’t think of another way for Zemi to keep his identity quiet until this point of the story, so I let it ride again this edit.
