What… what happened to me..?
When KoGuRai came back to his senses, he found himself covered in blood. His first reaction was probably not befitting of the dark Champion of Zeromus. His head reeled back, body tense and contorted, and let out an air-slicing shriek of agony.
What have I done?!
He had seen it all. He hadn’t been spared one moment of gristly detail, even though his body was responding to something else that was not his own desires. He could only watch, detached and helpless, as weapon, claws and fangs tore through villager after villager.
Those men… they were running away. Retreating. They weren’t even trying to fight me.
Of course, he had wanted to escape from the cage. Of course, he had expected resistance when he finally put his plan into action. Possibly even a fight. But KoGuRai had not planned on slaughtering the people there… not after they had provided him with surprisingly hospitable amount of nourishment and healing.
What… what happened to me..?
He felt sick. Like whatever last meal he had taken from the villagers was threatening to inch its way back up his throat. But he wasn’t even allowed that luxury. Darkness still had its cruel grip on his mind. His body was only partly responding to his commands. Each second he didn’t know if it was his own… or if it belonged to something else.
-This sniveling is not befitting of you, KoGuRai.-
The cold, hissing voice filled his mind. His dark eyes rose to glare at the large, dark-skinned Esgyll that perched on a rock outcropping just a short distance away. How a creature from the Inner Realm had managed to track him down over such a long distance, KoGuRai did not know. Of course, it was not as if it was merely a mindless beast.
This one watched him with red, intelligent eyes – animated by the very awareness of his Master, Zeromus. And the voice that rang through his mind was none other than the Dark Arweinydd, communicating to him through one of his own distorted creatures.
KoGuRai had still been locked in the jaws of the cage when the Esgyll swooped down with wings of black death over the village. It had freed him from his confines and proceeded to destroy without remorse. It had flattened houses, mowed through militia and started fires from the smoking totems.
If only I could say that it was the only source of destruction.
But KoGuRai knew better. He knew that whatever dark spirit animated the huge winged monster had also seeped into his own limbs. Urged him into a bestial rage that sent him tearing through anyone that came near.
I don’t understand why those people were killed. They had nothing to do with our goals… they were just protecting what was theirs.
The Esgyll gave a low snort and a lash of its tail.
-Perhaps you don’t comprehend how this all works yet, KoGuRai. The world will learn the fate that befalls those who attempt to hinder my Champion. Anyone that dares to defy our progress will be consumed.-
A chill rushed over KoGuRai’s body as he stared back at the burning red eyes. The sick taste rose up in the back of his throat again, hanging thick in his mouth, coupled with the pressing feeling that he was sinking deeper and deeper. In over his head.
KoGuRai had never been given much of a choice about what would happen to him from the moment that he was captured and brought into Nefol. Zeromus had offered him the position of Champion, though he was never sure why, and he chose to take the position rather than become dead and mindless like the other Marked.
Things had started out fairly well, considering all that was done to him. He was the leader of the dark forces and the other Marked obeyed his commands. He was gifted with wings and enhanced physical power – speed and strength. He was promised a place as the new ruler of Nefol once the people of the Dreigiau had been dispatched. And most of all, he had been promised the hand of JouKa, the one that he longed to see again.
But something had changed over time — what had once been an honor had degraded into servitude. KoGuRai had become less of a leader and more of servant to the Dark Master’s wishes. The promises he had been given were uttered less and less as the enhancements on his body had begun to fade. Like the other Marked, decay began to show – only he was aware that he was withering away, unlike the others.
And what had happened there at the village had sealed it. His very will had been stolen. His choice taken from him. He had become, as TsuYa had told him, nothing more than another one of Zeromus’ tools for destruction.
His black eyes slid up to the dark beast. A feeling of hopelessness weighed him down. Knowing that not only had he lost his humanity… but also his dignity.
The Esgyll gave quiet, calm look, answering the swirling tempest of doubts. -I came here in order to help you and retrieve you from your prison. I did what had to be done to preserve you against great odds — afterall, it was you versus all of this village. And the promises that I have given to you I have not forgotten. You will receive your rewards for your loyalty, KoGuRai. Do not doubt that.-
He pursed his lips, face growing solid and focused once again. There was nothing left to hold on to but what the shadows offered him.
-Now, pull yourself up. Your power has returned. You are once more whole. I have very pressing business that I need for you to attend to.-
The tone of the voice was so unusual that KoGuRai paused in the middle of his self- assessment to listen to the mind-voice of the dark beast. Though he had never really heard true emotion from the lips of the Dark Arweinydd, there was a certain quality about the statement that came alarmingly close.
Something is going on. And from the way that sounded, it must not be good.
The Esgyll intercepted that line of thought before it started. If there really was some sort of trouble going on, Zeromus certainly did not seem to want to let him know the urgency of it.
-It is nothing that I am certain you cannot handle, my Champion. Now, lift yourself up and be ready. We must find the trail of the young Sygnus again.-
“Sygnus?” KoGuRai murmured with a frown. “Is Lord Lucci here, then? In the Outter Lands?”
-Yes. He is indeed. In fact, all of those who met within the Cynosure have come through to this side. They travel not that far away from this position.-
“TsuYa?” the Champion ground his teeth, brows lowering. Then pausing, he realized something more.
JouKa. She was there. She was there and she saw me… Does that mean that she has travelled here too?
-Yes. The one that you seek has followed. However, she is meshed with those who wish to destroy you.-
KoGuRai felt something sink in the pit of his stomach again. Surely, no matter what he looked like… no matter what he had become… JouKa would remember him. She had called out his name that day at the end of the battle in the Cynosure. And the sound of it had been one of longing and pain.
“JouKa wouldn’t…” he couldn’t bring himself to voice the rest of the statement. He wanted to sound sure of himself when he spoke of her character. But it had been so long since he had last seen her. And now, she was one of the Dreigiau’s people… one of the winged people from the floating Islands.
Everything that she used to tell me. Everything that she once was. Has she really compromised it all to follow Zemi Dreigiau?
-Those are things that you will have to search to find out for yourself, KoGuRai,- came the winged beast’s cryptic answer. But if Zeromus’ goal was to reanimate his low-spirited Champion into action, he was off to a very good start.
“What do you need me to do,” the Champion pressed his lips together, slowly rising to his feet.
-As I have said, the young Sygnus is here within this land. He searches for ancient relics of the Time Before… weapons that were once used by the Sygni of long ago to battle against the Arweinydd.-
“How is that possible?” KoGuRai’s frown grew more pronounced. “Master… I thought that there was nothing of the Earthian realms that could be a threat to the Arweinydd?”
-Those who are wise… know that spoken absolutes rarely exist in actuality.-
“Hmmm..?”
-The truth is, weapons were crafted that could be wielded against us. The Sygnus boy now seeks this weapon without knowledge of the consequence of what he is about to uncover. Previously, I sent you to persuade or capture the boy. But now, the game has become more dangerous… just as Zemi orchestrated it.-
“Then, Zemi is the one that is sending Lord Lucci out to find this item?”
-I cannot see how the boy would know about its existence any other way.-
“It seems a little self-defeating to instruct a Sygnus on finding a weapon that could be used against the Dreigiau as well,” KoGuRai mused, half to himself. Then again, he had learned that the Arweinydd rarely made much sense.
-My brother is a foolhardy soul. He always has been. His reckless nature will lead to the destruction of all that we have worked for… including your precious Nefol and the one that you love.-
The Champion lowered his eyes in deep thought for a long moment. Then, he reached up both clawed hands, taking hold of the stringy flesh of the winged beast. In one sweeping motion, he was mounted upon the Esgyll’s shoulders.
“We ride. I will capture the boy-Sygnus and bring him back to you, Master,” KoGuRai said, voice low and cold. His choice had been made. There was no turning back now.
Proofing, but I’m going to have something to say about this later:
“even though his body was responding to something else that was not his own desire(delete:s).” -Something and was are singular… so desire as plural doesn’t work. Or you make it the other way around.
““Sygnus?” KoGuRai murmured with a frown. “Is Lord Lucci here, then? In the Outter Lands?”” -Doesn’t KGR usually refer to Lucci as “Lord LuShi”?
Done. Now some other comments.
Zerom is smart. I seriously mean that. Sure, he is evil and nasty and all that, but he is smart. I, oddly enough, find myself agreeing with him on a few points. Scary. Well done. This is, I believe, the first time that Zerom has made an appearance in the fourth book, and it is an excellent one.
Two, KuGoRai. What? Am I supposed to feel sympathy for him? I Don’t. Why? First, oh no, he feels terrible about killing those people? What did he expect would happen to the Cyngans? Is he really that entirely stupid? Second, JouKa is his main reason for going marked? He says so, yet doesn’t stop to think what she would think about him being willing to butcher the Cyngans? And he is willing to do that. Three, knowing full well what he is doing, he accepts Zerom here, though undermining any sympathy that way was probably the intent. Fourth, his behavior before he sided with Zerom anyway kind of speaks for itself. Oh, yes, poor poor KuGoRai. I stand by my statement earlier, Tsu’s behaviour towards JouKa was entirely justified and she was really being stupid. The best thing KGR has going for him? His name. It really is an awesome name. Also, TsuMeTai rhymes with KuGoRai and has the same number of syllables. Does Zerom just like three syllabled “ais”?
Three. It says that when KGR came to his senses he found himself covered in blood. But, it then said that he saw everything he did against his will. Why is he surprised at finding himself covered in blood? Surely he knew he was already covered in blood?… perhaps “regained control of himself” would be better than “coming back to his senses”, after all, coming back to his senses does connote madness, yes, but my first thought was of unconsciousness.
I’m definitely going to have to do some editing on some of these chapters for consistency — your comments have red flagged that for me. So thank you! When I wrote much of this, I didn’t really know KoGuRai’s character well… or his reasons. There is more behind his “choices” than there seems to be — in fact, it was not really a choice at all. At this point KoGuRai would like to believe he has some control over something, and would certainly make it sound like “I meant to do this.”
Sympathy for KoGuRai was not something I was writing for. I wanted to show that there might be more behind this character than what we originally see. At the same time, there’s very little I can say to justify who he is and the things he DID make choices about. He’s done some low, cold and despicable things. He’s paying for that now.
So whether the reader sees this agony as justice and payback… or sympathy and mercy… is something I leave in the hands of the individual. I’m writing the character as he revealed to me, but I had no intention of prodding a reader to feel one way or another for KoGuRai. The readers will impress upon him their own views and, in some way, have to answer their own moral questions.
That’s the fun of writing him for me! *evil smirk* Because to tell the truth… I didn’t feel sympathy for KoGuRai when I was writing Dreigiau. But once I got to know him better, I still think he was a lousy, manipulating, nasty guy… with the potential to be something better than what he let himself become.
I really must revisit these chapters, as I said, since I know so much more about KoGuRai now than when I was writing this. Thank you very much for your feedback. I hope that his development makes a little more sense with my thoughts added to this! Let me know if I’m on target with this or if I’m way off base. If off base, I’d love to hear input on how to make him the ambiguous question that I’m hoping he’ll be. *nod*
Oh, don’t get me wrong, yeah there are problems with the character as is…
But part of my reaction was a result of the presence of ambiguity in the first place.
So, yes, I think you’ve got the right thing going here. And for the record, I love ambiguity, but I also like passing judgment, so…
Perhaps, and I say this with a kind of hesitation, perhaps part of my condemnation comes from his actions before Zerom got involved. We have little to no idea why he actually did that. I mean, it must have had something to do with the loss of his father and the determination to find him (well, I suspect so), but beyond that we don’t know.
This all being said, my opinion of KGR’s agony isn’t that it is justice, but more that he has made his bed and is about to sleep in it. He doesn’t have to sleep in it, but he is choosing to. And he doesn’t accept responsibility. “Oh, I didn’t have a choice” kinda stuff? Really? It isn’t so much I think he deserves to suffer, or that he doesn’t deserve mercy, but that, well, what did he expect? I just can’t give sympathy if he is hiding from responsibility.
Arrgh. That sounds like I’m saying that if they don’t ask for forgiveness then they don’t deserve it. I don’t, quite, mean that. If this is any indication, then yes, your toying with ambiguity is indeed working quite well!
I’m not sure at the moment, but I still believe that Tsu’s outburst at JouKa was entirely justified, and that one tryst does not redeem KuGoRai, even if the tryst was a sincere one.
*laugh* Okay. That’s working as intended.
I’ll still have a good look at this section again just to make sure. I’m known to be a drama llama in my roughs, so who can tell. I always planned to come back and edit KoGuRai’s chapters in a major way. Like I said, I didn’t know half as much about him when I wrote this as I do now. In fact, some of these chapters were self-revealing from the figment and I just let him go off the leash to see what he would tell me.