Ch18-3: Lost Hope

That’s not the KoGuRai that I knew…

JouKa did her best to balance along the crook of Drok’s neck, holding tight to the leather-strapped reigns as she leaned forward. They had been travelling the better part of the afternoon and despite his outward appearance, Oren was enough of a gentleman to let her ride while he walked.

All the while, Oren worked to impress her with colorful descriptions of his home town… the food… the clothes… the people. Who she would love to meet. Who would love to meet her. Curiosities about her wings… where she came from… what sort of people were in her own homelands.

She answered his questions vaguely. Entertained his attempts to impress and flatter. But her mind was always ahead of her. Somewhere else. Over and over again, she ran it through her mind. What she would say when she saw him again? How it would be? How she would act? How should she act?

How would he act…?

After twenty turns had passed and so much had come between them. Would KoGuRai recognize her still? Would he care? Or was he so lost to the power of the Marked that he was no longer anything of the person he once was?

JouKa had never felt so anxious in her life.

“Hah… there we are!” Oren finally proclaimed, motioning forward with a grand sweep of one hand.

JouKa could see the first signs of life on the horizon. Sifting smoke rose up into the air, the sign of village fires and totems in the distance. The very thing that she had been yearning to see all day. The very thing she was most afraid to face.

KoGu… are you really just over that ‘ill?

Drok had already begun to pick up the pace, making his way down the homestretch. Eager to get back home.

If I could just see ya again. Talk to ya fer a while. I’m sure that we can figure a way out of this mess. There ‘as to be something we can do… afterall, they were able to find a seal fer TsuYa…

She paused, thinking about what had happened the night before.

Well… a temporary one, at least. But it’s still something! It’s still possible?

“You’re really going to love the smoked perth, I promise you. Just you wait,” Oren chatted as he jogged along side of Drok. Then he gave a scowl. “Hey… hey… slow up now! There’s no rush, is there, Drok?”

The creature didn’t respond. It simply plunged on ahead.

“Drok??” he repeated, tone turning worried. “What’s the matter?”

“Huh?” JouKa stirred at the sound of Oren’s voice. For the first time, she realized that her mount was shivering. A reaction that was more than just eagerness to get home.

“Oh boy…” the red-haired man ground his teeth. Then with one practiced lunge, he took a hold of Drok’s fur and launched himself up the arched back, seating lightly just behind JouKa.

She turned to protest as his arms wrapped around her for a hold on the reins. But the serious expression on his face was enough to silence her. There was certainly something more going on than just a creepy guy trying to cop a feel.

“Ha! Ha!!” Oren whooped to Drok, leaning forward against her wings. Though she had very little experience riding, she instinctually leaned forward, too, allowing him to take the reins from her hands.

Drok bounded forward with very little encouragement, a sense of urgency in his gait. Trees and bushes became nothing more than a blur as they sped, the sky bobbing up and down drunkenly. Not used to the motion, JouKa eventually had to force her eyes shut, feeling a bit woozy. The smell of smoke grew thicker the closer they got. It wasn’t until they finally crested the hill that she realized that the smoke was far too dense to be from just normal village cooking fires.

“No!” Oren’s voice rumbled in her ear as he pulled his mount to a sharp stop. “NO!!”

JouKa swallowed, opening her eyes again. A chill rushed over her body as her gaze rushed over the scene below.

What… what’s happening?

The village was in flames. The cries of frightened, wounded and dying people choked the air as thick as the smoke. She could smell the pungent odor of burning flesh. Her eyes could make out the sprawled and mutilated bodies of people in the streets. Everywhere JouKa looked, there was death. Horrible, horrible death.

KoGu! Is ‘e ‘ere somewhere? Is ‘e safe?

Something within her gut turned cold.

Or did ‘e…

Oren wasted little time in urging Drok forward. With a few long bounds, they were down in the streets. JouKa couldn’t bear to look. All she could do was grip the fur with eyes clamped shut, body hunched, shaken and ill.

No. NO! This couldn’t ‘ave been…

“What happened?” the red haired man bellowed.

“The monster! The black winged monster!” cried one man as he ran past.

“What?” Oren pressed, catching the man’s grubby collar. “What about the black winged creature? Did it do this!?”

No… ‘e wouldn’t…

“Yes… yes! It got free! It just started killing everyone!” he stuttered, shivering all over. “Not even the Locks held it. There was nothing we could do! There was no way to fight it! It was just too powerful!”

“Is ‘e still ‘ere in the village?” JouKa’s voice wavered. She leaned forward trying not to seem too desperate.

“No… thank the light! Thank the light that it’s gone!”

JouKa’s eyes were watery as she stared down at the terrified man. When Oren released him, he stumbled off in a craze, dodging the bodies that littered the path back towards the forest. Then she began to search, eyes flicking over the smoldering structures. Both hoping and dreading to catch a glimpse of the dark winged shadow.

“JouKa,” a voice sounded in her ears, pulling her out of her thoughts.

Her green eyes lifted, searching the lines of pain in Oren’s face. It was the face of a man who was watching his home turn to ashes. Seeing people that he knew lying scattered. Dead. And even though JouKa had no hand in bringing about this terrible scene, she felt like she should apologize. As little as it could do for all that had happened.

I’m sorry. I’m so sorry… This was not the way ‘e used to be.

“I’m going to take you back outside. You don’t need to be seeing all of this,” his tone was solid. Serious. And JouKa realized that even in the middle of all this destruction, Oren was taking care of her. “It’s probably safer out there, for now, than in here.”

Then with a flip of his hand, he threw one of the hide-skinned blankets over her head.

“Huh?” she gave him a surprised look.

“I wouldn’t show your wings around too much. Not until we get this all cleared up.”

That made sense to her, she decided, clutching his blanket. He took her to the edge of the village clearing and gently let her down from the creature’s back. It stung to know that there was nothing that she could do. JouKa wanted to raise her voice. To tell him that she would do whatever he needed to help his people.

But before she could protest, Oren was already spurring his way through town, urging Drok down the streets. She watched them vanish into the clinging black tendrils of smoke. And realized that tears were pooling in her eyes again… and not from the stinging of the thick air.

Off to one side, she could make out the huddled forms of women and children. Frightened. Sobbing. Clinging to each other as the distant crimson of the dying flames reflected from their faces. Some cradled the broken, unmoving forms of loved ones in their arms… begging for their return.

He would have never just… murdered… not like this…

JouKa watched them, distantly sharing their misery. Her mind reeled as she fought her own tears and the sick feeling welling up within her chest. She had no right to cry. These people were the ones that had lost so much. Not her.

Why…? Why…?

Though as hard as she tried, she couldn’t stop her mind from falling back, hearing the things that TsuYa had said. The terrible things about KoGuRai… and how he was nothing more than the dark Champion of Zeromus. How he would have killed them all if he had not been stopped. How he had robbed Nefol of its leadership and sought to bring the very nation down to its knees because of hatred and bitterness.

That’s not the KoGuRai that I knew…

She hadn’t believed the things that TsuYa had said. Even though she had seen KoGuRai’s Marked form with her own eyes. She hadn’t believed a word of it until now. Now she was faced with the dying and the dead. Innocent people who lay slaughtered by his hand.

This is not… like…

But, there was no denying what her own eyes told her. No fighting against the terrible truth of what KoGuRai had become.

Have I…

The last spark of hope and light that she had carried with her, the very reason that she had journeyed to the Outter Lands to begin with, faded among the cries of despair. All of the doubts that she had fought to hold back since the first time she had seen KoGuRai’s dark winged form began to flood in. Overwhelming her.

I’ve lost ‘im…

Her hope withered. Then died.