His body poised to throw the stone as far as his strength allowed.
TsuYa stormed through the curtain of leaves like a tempest, the branches swaying away as he pressed through them. The weight of the stone was slight in his balled fist. Almost non-existent.
What’s wrong..? You wouldn’t know, would you, SoYa!
His feet carried him away from the calls of his brother and father, eventually past the final break in the forest. TsuYa stopped when he found himself standing right on the edge of the island itself. With a broken breath, he stepped closer, looking down at the dark clouds below for a dizzying moment.
Of course you wouldn’t. You were always the good one. The loved one. The one that would be given everything.
A sneer crossed his face, the Mark on his cheek seeming more pronounced for a moment.
And now you’re the powerful one. The great mindmage – like Dad.
The darkness below wavered, stretching down into the dead lands. The tops of the clouds churned and boiled as streaks of violet lightning crackled and chased the edges of their forms.
And me? I’m just an afterthought… the mistake.
TsuYa shifted his weight, back from the edge, though his dark eyes still followed the motion of the storm. Something inside of his chest felt like it would burst. The pain that he always felt when he thought back to the folly of his choices back in Nefol. And the Mark on his cheek ridiculed him constantly in the eyes of others – for all that Aur had done, it could never be healed or removed.
I try so hard to be like Dad… but I’ll never be good enough, will I?
A heavy feeling draped over the back of his mind. Something dark that left his vision hazy. A quiet voice nagged him, cautioning that it was a warning sign… that maybe he shouldn’t let his anger drive him to such loathing thoughts. But at that moment, it had all welled up within him — everything that he had held in calm silence for so long. Frustration and fear choked his senses. He felt like screaming everything down at the dark clouds below.
I bet they just feel sorry for me. Or maybe they think it’s funny to watch me fall flat on my face over and over again!
One hand reeled, ready to hurl. The hand with the blue stone.
This isn’t a gift of honor… it’s all Zemi’s idea of a big joke!
Teeth bared. Standing on the edge of the drop. His body poised to throw the stone as far as his strength allowed. To watch it fall away, swallowed in darkness.
Why did they even bring me here..?
The sting of bitter hot tears blurred his dark eyes.
If I’m so much of a burden, they should have left me to the Marked!
As TsuYa stood there, inches from the drop, a soft breeze whispered past his cheek. A gentle cooling presence stroked along the Mark and tangling through his short white hair. The presence was a familiar, calming feeling… something that reminded him, unexpectedly, of a happier time in his childhood.
When Mother had still been alive. And Father’s eyes weren’t so sad. When wings and wars and Arweinydd had been unreal.
Startled, he turned, seeing no one there. The lazy white clouds sifted in the pale sky above, a stark contrast to the storms below.
And TsuYa found himself standing on the edge, somewhere in the middle of two worlds.
Zemi…?
Though there was no answer on the winds, the Apprentice was certain of the presence he had felt. And for some reason, just thinking that the Dreigiau might have been watching… that the Patron was aware of his struggle… eased the sharpness of the pang in his chest.
TsuYa felt his arm lower, then drop next to his side. He drew his shaking hand into the safety of his pocket, placing the stone within. When his dark eyes fell back upon the storm below, no longer did he feel compelled.
What am I doing?
TsuYa shook his head slowly. A clearing of senses.
What am I thinking? I don’t hate SoYa… He’s my brother! He was the one that practically raised me!
He threaded his fingers through the short wisps of hair with a grimace. There was sweat on his face. It stung where it had seeped into the crevices of the Mark on his cheek. But he ignored it.
What’s happening to me? I thought I had this beat.
Suddenly, he felt ashamed. Ashamed for how he had just stormed off, leaving his father and brother to call after him. Right after his father had honored him with a gift of Arfogaeth – something that young Apprentices could only dream to have.
And then I had to go and act like that. He’s probably furious with me. He’ll probably take the armor back. And I don’t blame him.
TsuYa’s fingers traced along the chain of the amulet around his neck. Something wanted to push the blame off. To swear that it was some outside force at fault for his childish tantrum… but that was too frightening a thought to cater to. Besides, he could only blame bad behavior on the darkness for so long.
I can’t let this keep happening. I’ve got to be stronger than this.
Regret dropped him to his knees at the edge of the Island. Anger now passing, all that was left was a cold silence where fire had once burned. His thoughts tumbled over and around each other, stumbling in the way of peace of mind.
Thoughts of his family and the loss of his home. Of the Islands and of Zemi, the Patron he supposable served. Zazo… the Arweinydd who had taken a strange sort of interest in annoying him. Then of Zeromus… the Arweinydd who reached to pull his soul into darkness. Of the war. Of the boy Sygnus that stood in the middle of it all – the boy he had taken as his unofficial student, despite the disapproval of others. He never understood that choice, either.
There was so much he was doing lately that confused him. His own actions. Thoughts. Feelings. They didn’t always seem like his own. And he had no voice to express the terror that came from that sensation.
For a long while, TsuYa sat upon the edge of the world, watching the churn and flickers below. When his thoughts finally fell silent from the exhaustion of it all, there was nothing but the sky above and below.
That’s when he saw it. A strange liquid shift that folded parted the shapes of the stormclouds far beneath the Islands. It wove chaotically, bounding over the cloud caps, causing them to scatter into a rain of dark mists in every direction.
What..?
TsuYa squinted, rubbing at his eyes, thinking that the soreness of emotion may have muddled his vision. The shift in the clouds remained, coming closer. The Apprentice could feel the hairs on the back of his neck rise in response coupled with a cold pressure in the back of his mind – another thing that he had been experiencing lately. He had learned that almost always, danger followed.
By the time that he had gotten to his feet, TsuYa could make out many more shifts rising through the clouds. The fact that they were coming from below, from the darkness of the lands, could only mean one thing.
Esgyll..?
Dropping all forlorn thoughts right there, TsuYa dug one heel into the rocky edge and with a twist, began to speed back in the direction of the Compound. Mouth wide open as he ran, he sprang over anything that fell in his way, kicking up loose soil at his feet.
DAD! SOYA!!
Even though he wasn’t a mind mage, he knew quite often that his brother and father could pick up on mind shouts. Especially if they were in distress.
ARE YOU STILL THERE? WE’RE UNDER ATTACK!
No answer came from the blur of leaves and trees as he ran. Somewhere far above his head, there was a spark of light. Streams of blue and gold shimmered down, fading like fireworks over the horizon. TsuYa’s heart began to thunder in his chest, his stride never breaking. He didn’t know exactly what the flashes in the sky meant. But he did know that the same thing had happened back during the first big attack.
ANYONE?
TsuYa broke from the depths of the forest into open ground and hit the path at full speed. The sound of his boots crunched on the dirt, a trail of dust left in his wake. His mind frantically calculated the distance between himself and the Compound.
I’ll never get there in time!
But he didn’t stop running. Even though the back of his legs burned and his chest felt like it would explode. His thoughts were on his father and brother. On those in the Compound who would be caught unaware.
A huge shadow fell down over his path, casting an eerie chill down upon the grassy hills. TsuYa looked up with an expression of dread. The shifting was straight above him – expansive and churning, blocking out the view of the sky as the liquid pulsation grew darker and more solid. It was only a matter of moments before the outline became apparent, the winged form of the sickly-grey Esgyll materializing from the wavering illusion.
So that’s how they get in undetected! They have some sort of invisibility magic?
With a wild leap, TsuYa threw him out of the sight of the huge monster, rolling into a set of nearby brush. He didn’t know if he had been spotted or not. But having been running out in the open as he was, he figured he would have been really hard to have overlooked.
I wonder why I could see them this time. I couldn’t before…
Curiosity drained from him as sky began to darken. One by one, the bulky shapes of Esgyll began to shimmer into view, sweeping down over the Islands. From a distance, the battle call of Dragons rang in the air. But they were far away. And there were many more Esgyll appearing now than there had been in the first attack.
The land that stretched between his hiding place and the waiting compound seemed eternal. Though safety wasn’t promised anywhere on the Island at this point, at least he could have fought along side of his father and brother if he were there.
My fault for running off like that… I’m such an idiot!
As the nearest shadow stretched over TsuYa’s hiding place, a chill of fear choked his breath. That’s when he realized that he was also completely unarmed.
Proofing:
“A strange liquid shift that folded (and?) parted the shapes of the stormclouds far beneath the Islands.” -”and is just a suggestion, it could maybe even be a comma, but “folded parted” just sounds awkward.
“he figured he would have been really hard to have overlooked.” -wordy, and it feels off. “he figured he would have been really hard to overlook.” Sounds better I think, maybe “he figured that” as well. I dunno.
Now, my own comments:
The Tsu angst continues! I sometimes make fun of angsty characters, but I promise, I do understand the need for it!
Don’t worry about always responding so long as you actually read them! It seems counter productive to help you save time and effort by proofing and then have you use up that saved time writing a response all the time!
Oh, and apparently there is a beer from Japan named Asahi. Just capitalize the “h” and… Heh, it might appeal to her sense of humour. Or not. Either way, I was going to bring it up.
SPOILERS! If this is the first time reading this, then do not. I repeat DO NOT read the following comment. (Actually Wren, it may be best to move this to the end, but I’m typing it as it comes to me and… well… it came to me now).
Now, for a broader comment on the story generally. Zemi seems to, at least quite often, be playing god. Now, what strikes me here is not so much him getting involved with the Earthians, but how he is viewed by them. The language shows this quite nicely. Patron. Guide. The Trine (three superhuman beings…? Trinity? Similarities are there). They do see him as something godlike. And they certainly see themselves as the “Chosen People”. Fair enough, as this is actually the case, but maybe that is their problem. A lot of them, and I mean a lot, are arrogant and somewhat xenophobic. Most of the main characters are pretty nice… well I suppose only SaRa could be considered a completely “accepting” Cygnan (gosh darn it, there goes my word memory, Cyngan or Cygnan!). Zento loses points for his treatment of Lucci, but he is generally fairly decent. Oh, and though we haven’t met them technically yet… Kip’s parents are great. But the rest of them? They come across as quite negative, mostly because of their treatment of Lucci… but also those who could also be seen as different. Tsu complains about it here, I think. This is something I call it Hubris.
So, I’m going to admit something. I don’t like most of them. And, as twisted as it is? There is a certain schadenfreudeian, almost karmic, delight in seeing the end result. In a sense justice could almost, almost, have been served. However, that is “almost” is very important. There is so much sympathy in the character of Lucci that, upon looking back, I could almost cheer for him even after he goes evil. A bullied child taking justified revenge on his bullies. Except, of course, that it isn’t justified and we know it. Perhaps that makes it all the more tragic. Why, to me, isn’t it justified? Because in the end it is the good people who end up suffering most, not the ones who are arrogant. After all, someone taking a drumming for their hubris is something even the Greeks seemed to… applaud. Same thing happening to someone good? No. Not so much. Also, it is hard to say that genocide is an acceptable reaction to bullying. Of course. But, the ending you currently have, the whole thing with the wings etc… well, I like it. They do, indeed, seem to lose their “Chosen” status.
This brings me back to Zemi. Godlike as he is, it becomes abundantly clear that he isn’t omnipotent and that he isn’t a capital “G” god, even if the lower case is arguable. I quite like this. I personally find that the loss of the wings isn’t just about severing the “Chosen’s” connection to Zemi, but is also symbolic of a good old fashioned bashing to Zemi’s ego. In the sense that Zemi is, to put it mildly, put in his place. He isn’t, as of yet, running around in Wayrift and re-ordering the universe to his liking and under his direct control. I quite doubt that Zemi will have the sheer audacity to behave in quite the same way again. Then again, I’m probably reading too much into this, as is often the case with works of literature, and only Wren and Syn know what is coming…
Last point, though, does the generally unsympathetic nature of the Chosen make the story less compelling? There is an argument for it. So two unsympathetic groups are killing each other? So what? But, as I’ve said, that isn’t quite the case because there are sympathetic people there. Second, I think it actually makes the story even more compelling. As a tragedy. The good people suffer while the sorta unsympathetic people get away with a slap on the wrist. It makes it worse on Lucci, in a sense, but it also helps explain why he is so dogged in his pursuit of the soon to be Runnians even after, sort of, turning on Zerom. That actually makes sense because of this! It is also necessary for Lucci as a character, or at least to remain sympathetic. His saddening desire to please comes straight from his negative treatment. Wren, you do a great job of Lucci’s side of the story, so well that I can almost even see his reasoning in the end and after the end. That is no small feat at all! There may be some Schadenfreude, but it is quite overwhelmed by anger and sadness. At least it was for me.
In defense of the people in general, I’d like to note that even the winged people are only a few generations removed from a rather backward and primitive tribal “society.” This was a society that wasn’t advanced enough to build their own city until Zemi brought the idea to them. Some, like JoKa, aren’t even THAT far removed, as she lived in the Gatherings up until the time of her Awakening. It’s somewhat hard to show this as I didn’t spend a lot of time with the back story of the tribes.
Point being, many come from a survivalist culture, where fear overrides acceptance simply due to the fact that strange things often meant death. JoKa is an example of how even magic use was taboo amongst people outside of Nefol. So for something such as Lucci, the Bane itself… no, he’s not going to be easily accepted, if ever, simply out of fear and primitive superstition. These are the things that Zemi tries to lead his people away from through his own example of accepting and helping Lucci. But learning acceptance over fear of the unknown is not something that happens over night, especially when you have group mentality supporting it. Fear turns to loathing and disdain…
Is there some arrogance there? Yes, I’d say there is some “We are the Chosen Ones” mentality here. For the most part, they do try to extend acceptance to most folks. But even Awakening doesn’t make someone perfect… they are still people with all of their flaws.
Zento was in the wrong for what he did — but his fears were proven right in the end. It’s hard to say whether it’s a case of self-fulfilling prophecy here or not. The question will always remain… if Zento had treated Lucci different, could things have been different? Maybe. Maybe not — it may be that Zerom’s hold on Lucci would have come about no matter how hard Zemi tried to prevent it. It may be that a Sygnus transformation would have driven Lucci over the edge even if Zento had been his friend. That’s one of those unanswered questions.
But I will tell you one thing. Should you see Zento alive after all that happened, he will express regret for his choices with Lucci.
And Zemi… yes. He has been humbled and fairly broken by this — this is the Zemi you see in Wayrift, though he has not vocalized it yet. In “Runne,” he’s gone so far as to remove himself completely from the picture… which… he discovers is an awful idea as well, because this allows for things like the Manor to take control instead. Even until this day in Wayrift, he struggles with the guilt and self-blame for what happened in Dreigiau. And while part of him naturally seeks to guide people and become a Patron, he also grapples with the fear of what his meddling might do, that he might hurt more than he would help.
It’s funny that you should bring this up as it’s something I’ve been struggling with in his development the past week in particular. It’s sometimes sad to me… as his character was designed to be cheerful and fun-loving… but circumstances that developed as I wrote Dreigiau and explored more of his history have taken a lot of that away from him. I find myself working to mend his spirit the best I can… though he has many people who support and love him (not because he’s a Patron, but because they are his friends and family), and that’s a big help.
Yes, I did discover the Asahi beer many years ago — about a couple of years after I started writing Dreigiau. I face palmed. *laugh*
Anyhow, I hope some of this adds to things to consider, just a bit of the other side of things. I won’t say that this justifies the way people approached Lucci. But I did want to offer it as a look into the mindset of these people and their fears. If you feel this is something I should look into expressing better, any thoughts would be appreciated. I don’t fully want to paint the Cyngan as bad people, but at the same time, I do want the reader to feel the emotions that lead Lucci to make the choices he did.
Perhaps I focused too much on achieving that and trying to justify Lucci… while forgetting to give the Cyngan a little credit for their shortcomings, too?
Thanks for your thoughts and honesty!
I understand the defense of the people in general. In fact, I would probably say that if we, today, were put in a similar situation we would be just as cruel. Sure, we might say we wouldn’t, but when the chips are down we can be just as vicious. In fact, for all the point that the to be Runnians are not human, they certainly share certain characteristics. We are almost hardwired into an “us and them” mentality, we make hasty generalizations, and perhaps it to is a survival strategy. Their response is understandable if not entirely ethical.
That doesn’t excuse the fact that they do not come off as sympathetic. Especially the children, ironically. Children who can’t necessarily understand the concept of the “Bane” but do understand the fact that Lucci doesn’t have wings and that Suzume’s wings are different then theirs. I think this is realistic and good for the story, but it is there.
And when I say unsympathetic I don’t mean I think they are “bad” people, just unsympathetic. Possibly because they are all too normal.
As for Zento… I’m not naive enough to presume that Lucci would not have been taken over by Zerom if Zento had been kind to him. Maybe, but maybe not. My problem with Zento is more so that he let his prejudices get in the way of the good of the people he was supposed to be leading. What? Yes, Lucci was obviously staying once Zemi made the (ethically) right choice. Zento let his resentment over that choice cloud his judgment. As I’ve said before, he should have voiced his concerns earlier, killed Lucci outright, or shut up and gone along with Zemi once all was said and done. What he did actually put the Cyngan in danger and if he had been thinking clearly he would have seen that. And Zento does not have the same excuse as the rest of the Cyngan. In my mind a lot of the blame for this falls in his shoulders. His fears may have been a self fulfilling prophecy, they certainly contributed. Then again, I probably should get off my high horse. I can’t expect anyone to be perfect.
I will be quite interested for when we get around to the Runne history. A lot seems to happen there.
Poor Zemi. Poor Zemi. I’ll just say that I find Zemi’s character understandable. One doesn’t always have to act broken to be broken.
Perhaps this feeling about the Cyngan people arises because things are fairly straightforward. We don’t see Lucci directly through the eyes of one of the regular folks there, and if we do they are always so very certain about their judgment of Lucci. The only real person who seems to come around to Lucci who didn’t accept him quickly, seems to be Tsu (so far anyway). I can’t, at the moment, recall Zento or anyone else having that flicker of doubt that maybe, just maybe, they were wrong about Lucci.
Thanks for further explanation!
Nope, ZenToYa is not a perfect character (despite what TsuYa would like to believe). He does the best he can by his people, but he has weaknesses and flaws just like anyone else. But that’s part of the complexities of story and character.
I honestly didn’t know he’d take that stance about Lucci until I started writing, it was not something I had pre-planned at all. Then all the sudden, Zento informs me that he’s not too happy about the situation and really doesn’t welcome the idea of what Zemi is doing. It caught me by surprise, but I went with it — when a figment alerts you to his point of view, even if you don’t agree with it, it’s the author’s job to listen.
I guess my final question is… in light of all that you’ve described here, is there something I should change? Does the attitude of the society here it make the story lesser… or does it make the story more believable? Does it add to the tension or does it just give the reader a “bleh” feeling about the setup? Does it feel too black and white, did I play up Lucci’s outsider-ness too much?
That’s what edits are for, afterall. If I need to change something in the way it’s written, now is the time for me to start planning!
Runne… *sigh* Must finish Dreigiau before I can even consider opening that can of worms!
I think Zento acting as he does it perfect for the story. Again, a story wouldn’t be all to interesting if all the characters were perfect. I think avoiding “Mary Sues” is one of the most difficult things to do in a story. Zento is perfect as a character here, not a person. And that is kinda the point.
To try to answer the question… I think it has to at least appear as it does to Lucci in order for that character to make sense. And I do believe it is realistic for the society to act the way it does here, but it does feel too black and white in the sense that there are those who more or less accept Lucci and those that absolutely utterly detest him. How to work around this? Is it realistic for those who actually see Lucci to never, ever, have private doubts about his evilness? Even if they don’t express it directly. I kind of like to think that some of them go “well, maybe he isn’t so… nah. He doesn’t have wings and he IS a sygnus. And that is dangerous, and appearances don’t change that”. I understand that kind of thinking, but we do sympathize with Lucci, it makes anyone who completely and utterly condemns him all the time to seem cold hearted rather than rational. It would be nice to be able to see them actually reasoning about their decision to a degree instead of just seeming completely cold. That way maybe the reader could try to understand them as well.
How could you do this? Find somewhere were it makes sense to have someone like Zento (doesn’t have to be him) have second thoughts. It would also possibly be nice to have Tsu figure out why he decided to help Lucci. He doesn’t know at the moment. What does Zento think of Tsu’s decision to train Lucci? Would he confront him about it, after all, both sons are taking a position opposite him in this? If so, would it contribute to Tsu’s sour mood before training simulation? What about SoYa? SoYa isn’t particularly confrontational though… I don’t know, but those could be opportunities to show that rationalization. Maybe ask the figments for volunteers? I dunno. I just think someone showing a iota of doubt, even once, would be helpful. Sure, we probably all suspect they aren’t all cold hearted people, but knowing it could be helpful. Something to remind us that the Cyngan are very much like us. Maybe even someone nominally on Lucci’s side asking themselves some tough questions, it doesn’t have to be someone against him I suppose. Something to break down the lines of “nice/mean”.
I recognize that this very well might not work for the characters involved, and you know them best. If it doesn’t work then don’t do it! Lucci’s outsiderness is very very important to the story. I think it makes Lucci one of my favourite characters because I sympathize with him so much. You’ve got something going right for sure! I think it best to leave it as is than to do some kind of major overhaul of the plot. Additionally, just tacking something on to the story would feel cheap. If you can find a realistic way to slip something in, sure, if not… no worries. You’re the author, all the tough stuff is yours to decide!
It might help to have more than just my opinion on this too. Other people might completely disagree with me!
Thanks so much! This gives me a lot to think about.
I did consider the fact that TsuYa was making an unexplained choice to not follow in his father’s footsteps for once. Actually, that also came as a surprise to me when it happened. It was another thing that wasn’t planned that a figment chose to do.
Being his author, I somewhat understand — TsuYa (for all his grouch) is someone who tries to find the potential in other people. Even in someone like Lucci. It’s not in Tsu’s nature to completely and totally dismiss someone who appears to be genuinely trying the way Lucci did.
I’m sure that Zento had MANY moments of questioning. You asked why he didn’t kill Lucci from the start — that would probably be the reason why. Zento’s not a killer. And he’s not someone to shut other people out with no chance of redemption.
I think one reason Zento stood by and allowed Zemi to do what he did was because there was a part of Zento that wanted to see things work out for the better. There was another part of him, though, that also feared the danger that Lucci would become. Overall, I think he had a LOT of doubts that his pride wouldn’t let him admit to in front of others. Times were too tough to let his people see his uncertainty, though… even if everyone would have been better off for it.
I’ll definitely keep these ideas in mind for my revision. Often, when I go back to edit, I realize characters come off more stern or sharp than I meant. This could be one of those times. So let me see what I can do to show some of the uncertainty and help answer why Zento and TsuYa do what they do.
I know you likely won’t respond because you’re busy, but I realize full-well you will read this comment when you get the notification e-mail, and after reading your conversation with Can, I thought I’d give my two cents.
One thing that really resonated with me in your conversation was the Cyngan’s treatment of Lucci. While I do agree with Can that they can come off as unsympathetic at times, I do not think that this is a bad thing. The figments who count have been given reasons for their actions, and though sometimes Zento comes off as a bit too harsh in the situation with Lucci, I don’t think that “softening up” the Cyngan situation would do anything to add to the story; I think, in fact, that it would detract from it.
My reasoning is this; Lucci is one of the integral characters, and their treatment of him definately contributes to what he becomes, in more ways than one. As a major plot character, I believe he definately gets predesence over Cyngan Peon Letter A, and to try and make them look more sympathetic would take time and energy that could be better spent on making other major plot characters look slightly more noble. This brings me back to Zento. I do think giving him one moment of doubt (if he allows it, one never knows) would reflect on the Cyngan and, in turn, make them look more sympathetic as a whole. Afterall, as their leader, his behavior reflects on them. It’s not a difficult connection to make.
That being said, I don’t think that giving him this moment of doubt is, per se’, nesscary. Maybe all that’s needed is to soften up his dialouge a bit, make it seem less abrasive than it currently is from time to time. Perhaps his “true voice” is just not showing yet. Lucci vs. the Cyngan is one of the key points of contention in this story, and making them wholly more sympathetic could potentially detract from other, more imporant conflicts; like the conflict between TsuYa and himself.
Speaking of Tsu, I definatly think that he could use a bit of work in some aspects, though those are mostly minor internal things that I don’t really completely understand because he’s not my figment. Sometimes, his thoughts seem a bit incohesive to me, and the fact that he doesn’t understand his own reasoning for things sometimes has a tendency to bother me, but then again he seems to be more impulsive than he lets on. Maybe I’m just reading too quickly?
As a whole, though, this story is very cohesive. And I would remind you that it is one of my favorite books of all time because the characters are so human. Unlike most stories, where I pick and choose which characters I like and attatch myself to certain ones, I find that I can sympathize with some aspect of almost every Dreigiau character. Whatever your ultimate desision, I will be sure to rescept it.
Thank you so much for your thoughts on this Rose! (See, I do read!)
I think your suggestion for Zento is certainly a good middle grounds. Part of the issue with him (and with Tsu), is that I haven’t had a chance to go through and polish up the rough bits of these books yet.
I’ve done all sorts of changes to Book 1 and Book 2 now that I can look back at the characters with more knowledge. What you and Can are probably seeing here is just that — I haven’t taken these (which are only a step above NaNo writing) and really worked on them as well as I could.
I appreciate your thoughts and what you feel about Zento and Tsu. I’ll keep all this in mind when I sit down for an edit, for sure.
And Tsu is more impulsive than he lets on. Especially when he’s younger.