Ch13-7: Reluctance

“I don’t believe you!” TsuYa complained, shoving a bunched up set of clothing into the small open box upon the bed.

“No! It’s you I don’t believe!” JouKa retorted, jerking the clothes out of the box the moment his hands left them.

It was the third time that this particular set of attire had gone through the juggle between the two. Disgruntled glares were exchanged. Hisses and snarls and hand waves were ever present. Voices were high and irritation was higher.

“You’re not staying here during the battle, and that’s final!” TsuYa glared, both fists curled at his sides, body rigid as the words snapped between his teeth.

Not that he fully agreed with the idea of the Migration. But he had come to accept that it was going to happen no matter what he thought. Though he didn’t want to let her know, he was worried about JouKa. And after thinking about it for a while, he reluctantly decided that it was probably better for her go somewhere safe than put into the risk of battle.

Of course, she didn’t agree with his assessment. He hadn’t expected her to. At first, TsuYa had attempted calm reasoning. As always, it was not long he found his temper sparking as JouKa had become impossibly stubborn about the whole thing.

“Who do ya think ya be, tellin’ me where I kin stay an’ where I kin go?” the winged girl shook a fist in his face.

It was merely a motion of accent to her words… it had been over a year since JouKa had last actually hit him during one of their arguments. Especially since she had learned about the meaning behind TsuYa’s dreams and the danger he was in with Zeromus. Not that the girl had ever seemed actually afraid of him. Rather, she seemed to realize that they were all in the same boat during the war.

But that’s never stopped her mouth…

“Look, this is for your own good,” TsuYa tried to reason, hands spread towards her.

“My own good? Or jus’ somethin’ that’ll give ya peace ‘o mind?”

“This isn’t about me, JouKa! This is about everyone,” he huffed sharply. “Lord Zemi’s command is that all noncombatant citizens of Ceiswyr be evacuated to Wyndor.”

“Exactly why I’m stayin’!” she flipped a straying lock of white hair over her shoulder, nose pointing away from him. “I kin fight jus’ fine!”

“Arrg… I knew you were going to say that!”

“Then why’re ya wastin’ yer time tryin’ to talk me outta it?” she chided him. “Could it be that yer actually worried fer me?”

“Give me a break,” he snorted. “If you’re stupid enough to stay when everyone’s telling you to get out, you deserve to be Esgyll food!”

JouKa fell silent for a moment, brow furrowed. Then she murmured in a gentler tone of voice, a tone that she had only just recently adopted from time to time, “Ya don’t mean that, TsuYa…?”

He breathed in deeply, nostrils widening for a moment before he turned to her again. “No. I don’t. But you’re just being so difficult… and there’s a lot of crap going on as it is. Why can’t you just do what you’re supposed to do?”

JouKa leaned back against the beam of the wall. She eyed him with purpose as she asked, “Why don’t ya evacuate wit’ the rest of ‘em?”

“Why would I?”

“Why not?”

“Because it’s my job to stay here and fight… I have to defend the Islands and fight along with everyone else who is here to do the same thing,” he answered her patiently.

She’s leading up to something. She always is when she asks “why not”.

“It’s because you wanna stay ‘ere and defend yer ‘ome, right?”

“Well…” TsuYa found he had to stop and think that statement over. It wasn’t like Ceiswyr was really his home – Nefol and the School would always hold that spot in his memories even if it was no longer a place of beauty and light. However, the Islands had become a refuge for himself and a number of others… and that was something he didn’t want to lose to Zeromus’ forces. “I guess you can say that.”

“Well, then… that’s what I wanna do, too,” JouKa jutted her chin out at him, both hands planted solidly on her hips. “Is it wrong for me to wanna fight jus cuz I’m a girl?”

“Is this what it’s about?” he rolled his eyes.

“You tell me?” she retorted.

“This is about keeping you and everyone else safe and out of the way when the battle starts. That’s what it’s about,” TsuYa shook his head. “It’s not a question of rank, gender, race, preference… whatever! War is war. And you don’t need to be caught up in the middle of it!”

“I kin fight!” JouKa protested.

“With what? You don’t have a weapon!”

“There’s an armory. I kin get one!” she waved her hand in a wide, exaggerated motion.

“You know plain well that they don’t just start passing out weapons from the armory to random citizens…” he scowled at her.

“Well, if it’s a war, they should!”

“It doesn’t work like that. This isn’t a joke!”

“Does it look like I’m laughing?”

TsuYa just gave a long, frustrated sigh. JouKa mirrored his expression, now crossing her arms in front of her chest.

Impossible! Just when I think she can’t get any worse, she comes up behind me and gives me a swift kick in the behind.

“There’s nothing I can say to make you change your mind?” he finally murmured, giving it one last shot.

“Nope.”

“I thought not,” he grimaced, walking towards the door. After the heated discussion, TsuYa felt the need for some fresh air and a walk. “Well, if you get yourself killed out there, it’s not my problem. I tried to stop you.”

He left it at that. Trite words he didn’t really mean and a heavy closing of the door. Something inside of him told him that he was being stupid about the whole thing.

Afterall, what if something were to happen and that was the last time I ever see her?

TsuYa shook his head and scowled.

Then it really would be her fault. She needs to head out with the Migration like the rest of them. It figures that I’d get stuck with the one who can’t follow directions of any kind… even with they’re given by Lord Zemi himself!

The Migration was the name for the undertaking, the mass-evacuation of the city of Ceiswyr. And though TsuYa felt that it was the right thing to be doing for the women and children and non battle-ready people, he couldn’t help but feel much like JouKa about the whole thing.

It sucks. Zeromus shouldn’t have us on the run like this. We shouldn’t have to be evacuating the city.

He kicked his way up the grassy hillside, plucking a stray weed to roll between his fingers.

I mean, we’ve got the Trine on our side! What gives here? Why can’t the three of them manage defenses against their own brother Arweinydd?

The question was unsettling. But the answer that rose to mind was even more so.

Does the Chaos really give Zeromus all that much more power? Has Zemi been bluffing our situation and not telling us how serious it really is all this time?

TsuYa’s dark eyes slid out over the land below as he crested the hill. Somehow, he found that taking a walk didn’t exactly help to alleviate all of his feelings about the Migration. In fact, the scene that spread out before him only made the situation all the more real to him.

There were a number of Dragons lounging there among the grass and spattering of trees, large wings folded, bodies resting flat on the ground. All around them, winged people wandered, checking and rechecking the large containers that were strapped across the beasts’ backs. Inside of the big, boxlike structures, packs and bags and bundles were being stacked. No doubt these were the few belongings of the Cyngan who were about to make the flight across to Wyndor.

This is really happening. We’re evacuating the final outpost of the Inner Realms.

TsuYa felt a quiet sigh rise up in his throat, a mixture of emotion churning through him. It was a powerful tragedy to have lost Nefol and the School already… something that he had not quite come to terms with in all the time that had passed since that dark day. The image of the tilted Spire and the dark, churning cloudbanks consuming his home had burned itself into the back of his mind forever. And though he spoke very little about it, there were still times when he felt the weight of the loss deeply.

And if we lose Ceiswyr, too, then all of the Inner Realms will belong to Zeromus…

That was a terribly frightening thought. That within the year, the whole realm had been consumed… and that they were the last outpost that retained a foothold there within the massive grips of the darkness.

How did things ever get so screwed up…?

It was a difficult question to answer. Like everything in life, things simply happened, leading into other things that led into other things, in turn. No one had certainly meant for something like this to come about. But, then, most bad things that happened were not usually created with purposeful intent… they just tended to build up out of the little things that came along, it seemed.

As melancholy crept up on him, TsuYa settled down on the top of the hill-side, watching the Dragons and people in their preparations. He leaned back on both palms, breathing in the cool air, mind tossing about from thought to thought. But all of it pointed back to one feeling.

Even if we are fighting against Zeromus now… how can we ever make things back the way they were before this?

“I know what you mean, Tsu,” the voice of his brother came from somewhere behind him.

TsuYa’s face twisted in a scowl for a moment before he grumbled, “What did I tell you about using your mind-suck powers on me?”

“Sorry…” SoYa’s tone turned abashed. “I just came to tell you that supper is ready. And that Aunt SaRa is done packing now.”

She’s leaving. You might as well say what you mean.

TsuYa glowered down at his feet.

“You want me to leave you alone..?” his brother asked in an almost sad voice.

“Nah,” he waved his hand once. “Do whatever you want.”

The Athrylith strode over and came to sit next to TsuYa on the hilltop. There, SoYa began to pick at the tiny white flowers that were scattered through the blades of grass.

It’s so odd to think of him as being a mind mage… even though I’ve known about it for this long.

His brother was a confusing juxtaposition. Within the time that had passed since the fall of Nefol, SoYa had changed so much. It was obvious to everyone, even TsuYa, that the Athrylith was growing into his own — both in his position as the eldest brother of ZenToYa and as a skilled mind mage.

Yet at the same time, he’s still just as big a doof as ever.

When things got under serious pressure, SoYa’s first instinct was to fall back in defense rather than hold his ground and fight. It was no surprise that the Migration was his idea.

SoYa leaned forward, “It’s the right thing to do, Tsu… I know you don’t agree with it. But it’s important to keep them safe.”

“You don’t think we’re going to be able to hold the Islands, do you?” TsuYa peered over at his brother with a grim frown.

“I really don’t know what’s going to happen when the Esgyll come back.”

“But evacuating means you don’t think we can protect them…”

SoYa shook his head, “That’s not true. It’s just being careful, Tsu. I don’t want anyone getting hurt more than they have to. And as I said… we don’t know what’s going to happen. We may win and everything will be fine. But there’s a chance we may not.”

TsuYa scowled and spat off to the side. “What kind of thinking is that?”

“I guess I don’t think much like a warrior does. I’m not much of a warrior… not when compared to you,” SoYa leaned back, staring quietly up at the clouds.

“Shaddap… that’s not what I said,” he snuffed back.

“I know. But it’s true?” the Athrylith shrugged.

“Doesn’t matter. We all just do what we gotta do,” the young warrior shrugged back in an almost identical motion.

SoYa glanced over, “Sometimes I wish I could face things like you do.”

TsuYa felt a momentary shock rush over him. He breathed the words deeply through his nose, mulling over the right response to the statement. He still went with the first thing that came to his mind, “No you don’t…”

“Yeah I do,” the Athrylith laced his fingers together, hooking them around his bent knee before giving his brother a soft smile. “You always seem so calm.”

“It’s not calm,” the young warrior shook his head. He was still fighting to make sense of it.

Why would SoYa ever want to be anything like me?

“Then what do you call it?” SoYa asked with a furrowed brow.

“Dunno… It’s just my way of getting through, I guess,” TsuYa answered. “You’re best to stick to what works for you. There’s only room for one cynic of my caliber in this family.”

SoYa gave a warm, quiet laugh. Then he reached out and squeezed his brother’s shoulder in an affectionate way. “I know you miss Nefol. And I know you miss the way things were. But we gotta keep moving forward, Tsu. There might be some light ahead of us that we just don’t see yet… but we won’t know if we keep looking behind us.”

“Don’t hold your breath,” TsuYa murmured, half joking.

“I knew you’d say that,” the Athrylith teased softly.

“Of course you did, mindsucker.”

SoYa laughed as he rose and brushed his pants off. “Come on. There food’s getting cold on the counter… And we really should say goodbye to Aunt SaRa before she leaves.”

“Yeah, I guess so…” Still, TsuYa sat there for a moment before slowly pushing himself to his feet. As if putting off the goodbye would put off the inevitable.

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